The chore or homework set has five steps in someone’s head. Halfway through, half the steps have evaporated. The sequence lived only in memory—and memory dropped them.
That evaporating list is real. It isn’t sabotage. Parents searching adhd how to get things done need the next three steps outside the head before start. Working memory is overloaded; an external sticky lightens the load.
Tonight: before a multi-step chore or homework set, child writes the next three steps on a sticky and crosses each off. Fresh sticky if more remains. No holding the full list only in the head.
Try this tonight
- Before a multi-step chore or homework set, hand your child a sticky. They write the next three steps only—not the whole project forever.
- Start step one. Cross it off when done. Then step two. Then step three.
- If more remains, write a fresh three-step sticky. Don’t keep a mental queue running beside the paper.
- You may prompt “What’s step one on the sticky?”—you don’t narrate all three steps for them as the default.
- Celebrate crossed-off steps. The win is using the sticky, not a flawless room or packet on night one.
- Same rule before every multi-step set that usually evaporates halfway.
The chore or homework set has five steps in someone’s head. Halfway through, half the steps have evaporated. The sequence lived only in memory—and memory dropped them.
That evaporating list is real. It isn’t sabotage. Parents searching adhd how to get things done need the next three steps outside the head before start. Working memory is overloaded; an external sticky lightens the load.
Tonight: before a multi-step chore or homework set, child writes the next three steps on a sticky and crosses each off. Fresh sticky if more remains. No holding the full list only in the head.
Why this helps (kitchen language)
Kofler and colleagues (2020) found that central executive (working-memory) training outperformed matched inhibitory-control training on working-memory outcomes. Strengthening how kids hold and update information supported broader function—and external lists lighten that load at home.
Kitchen translation: three steps on paper. Cross off as you go. Fresh sticky if more remains. The list is outside the head so multi-step work has a visible start and check. Your child is the manager of the steps. You hold the “write three first” rule. You may prompt “What’s step one on the sticky?”—you don’t narrate all three as the default.
What to do tonight: three-step sticky
- Before a multi-step chore or homework set, hand your child a sticky. They write the next three steps only—not the whole project forever.
- Start step one. Cross it off when done. Then step two. Then step three.
- If more remains, write a fresh three-step sticky. Don’t keep a mental queue running beside the paper.
- You may prompt “What’s step one on the sticky?”—you don’t narrate all three steps for them as the default.
- Celebrate crossed-off steps. The win is using the sticky, not a flawless room or packet on night one.
- Same rule before every multi-step set that usually evaporates halfway.
Pick this for chores or homework sets that evaporate halfway because the sequence lived only in memory. Three steps on a sticky, cross off as you go. Skip holding the full project only in the head.
Common misses: Writing the whole project forever on one sticky. Narrating all steps for them. Celebrating only a perfect end product. Skipping the sticky “just this once.”
Why this helps at the kitchen table
Kofler and colleagues (2020) found that central executive (working-memory) training outperformed matched inhibitory-control training on working-memory outcomes. Strengthening how kids hold and update information supported broader function—and external lists lighten that load at home.
Kitchen translation: three steps on paper. Cross off as you go. Fresh sticky if more remains. The list is outside the head so multi-step work has a visible start and check. Your child is the manager of the steps. You hold the “write three first” rule. You may prompt “What’s step one on the sticky?”—you don’t narrate all three as the default.
Say this
“Three steps on the sticky. Cross them off. Don’t hold them only in your head.”
More of these practices live in How to Focus with ADHD without Medicine. There’s a free parent guide at andrewjohnsonfocus.com/guide, and a course waitlist if you’d rather learn them with other parents later.
Source
Kofler, Wells, Singh, Soto, Irwin, Groves, Chan, Miller, Richmond, Schatschneider, & Lonigan (2020). A Randomized Controlled Trial of Central Executive Training (CET) Versus Inhibitory Control Training (ICT) for ADHD.
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